Changes

This is the post I have been dreading to write. People say change is inevitable, and while I agree, I just wish there wasn't so much change happening all at once. On April 1 we found out we were going to be parents (yay! So excited!). We were finally getting things in place and getting really settled in our house, careers, life. Then seemingly out of nowhere trouble came looking for us. In June, Tyler found himself out of work and I at four months pregnant became the breadwinner. I am so proud of my husband, because it took him about two days to get his resume in order and start pounding the pavement looking for another job. But jobs in his line of work are few and far between. There are exactly three companies in the metroplex that use aerospace engineers and none were hiring. So, we waited. He kept looking every day. Every. Single. Day. It was hard, very hard. It was hard for him to not be able to provide for his family. It was hard for me to watch him struggle. To not do the things we like to do because we have to buckle down and save for this baby coming. Then in September he got the call we had been praying and waiting for. A job interview. Two, actually, for the same company. But they weren't for jobs in this area. We prayed about it, learned more about the company and packed our bags and headed to Oklahoma City for his interviews. They loved him, of course, and he accepted a position. This was a bitter pill for me to swallow, I'll admit it. I am not enthused about moving to Oklahoma City. They have HUGE tornadoes! Who is going to help me with the baby? I won't be able to just have my mom come over and hold her so I can take a shower. We had to tell our parents we were moving. Tyler's parents were really happy for us, we are actually going to be closer to them and his sister. My parents, well, they were shocked. It took them a little while, but they are coming around. They had known since June that this would be a possibility and have been completely supportive because they know what it's like to have to pick up and move so they can have a future for their family. They moved 1000 miles from home when they were newlyweds so my dad could make a good living to support a family. But, I will admit, I have cried many tears over this move. Mostly because I'm afraid. Tyler kept saying that this move would be the adventure we crave. Let me be frank. We will be moving shortly after the first of the year with an newborn, this is not an adventure I want.  I'm afraid of getting there and being truly on our own. It is true that Tyler (and I) have friends near "the city" (that's what the locals call it) but it is not the same as having your mom or one of her stand-ins nearby. But, I can't sit here and wallow in my fears. So instead I intend to count my blessings, literally.

Did I tell you that I am proud of my husband? Yesterday he left for "the city" and the journey began in earnest. He left his very pregnant wife in the very capable hands of her family and went to pave the way for us. Today! He started his new job. When I talked to him earlier this evening he said he felt great about it. To quote him he had an "awesome first day." Even though this new job means we will be apart during the week, we are blessed. His benefits are much better at his new job. His boss is an actual human being who seems very much to value life outside of work. Tyler told him today about the baby coming in December (they can't ask/talk about it legally during the interview process) and his boss told him not to worry because they would work it out some way for him to get the time off he needed to be able to be here to help me and to bond with our daughter. We are blessed because his company is going to pay to pack us and move us, which was one of my requirements. We are blessed because a friend of Tyler's very graciously offered to let him stay rent free in his apartment while we transition. We are blessed because we DO have people waiting anxiously for us to arrive and to help us unpack and get our house in order. We are blessed because we have people here to help me get our house ready to go on the market and to look after me while he is gone. We are blessed because our parents are supportive and although we dashed some dreams they are willing to come help us. We are blessed because we will once again be a two income household and the burden has been lifted from me so that I know that we will survive should I have to stop working early. We are blessed because God has kept me healthy as I am, according to my doctor, a "high risk pregnancy." We are blessed because we were faithful and God provided for us a way. He opened a door. I'm not sure where that door leads and I'm afraid to step through it, but I know that as long as we are faithful he will provide for us. This journey we are on is not over yet, this is just the second chapter. "But that which does not kill you makes you stronger." We will land on our feet. We always do. Our little family and our marriage will be stronger for it. It's funny. If you would have asked me even just a year ago if I ever thought we'd be moving to Oklahoma, I would have told you "no way."